Carry On: Bigger on the Inside
by AleisterCrowleySnow
Summary: Simon invents a spell (based on his favorite show) to get Baz to reveal his secrets. Takes places just after Baz comes back from summer break in their 8th year. Enjoy, and please comment :)


"He's obviously hiding _something_ , Penny." Simon waved his scone about as he spoke. He was more focused on his roommate than walking, and eating too, for that matter. This wasn't unusual, but Baz was about the only thing that was always taking precedence over eating. He'd almost forgotten to put butter on his scone, he was so distracted. (And he _loved_ butter. Butter should have been his middle name. Simon Butter Snow.)

Simon and Penny were headed back to their dorm rooms after breakfast. A part of Simon wanted to avoid his room-but where would he go? And besides, he wasn't going to get answers anywhere else. (Probably he wasn't going to get answers anyways.)

"He's been back for a few days, and you're still alive," she commented, and pushed on before Simon could interject. "You're being paranoid. I highly doubt he's plotting something. And I know for a _fact_ that you've exceeded your allowed ten-percent-of-the-conversation allowance."

Penny and Agatha (when Agatha was talking to him, anyways) were always telling Simon that he complained about his roommate to much, and he always ignored them. They didn't live with their nemesis, who happened to be a vampire, and was probably plotting the death of both you and the person who had brought you into the world of mages.

"He was probably off learning to... to break the Anathema, or learn how to defeat the mage, or something. It can't just be _random_ that he didn't come back at the start of the semester. It must _mean_ something..."

Penny's only response was a sigh. "Whatever happened to your theory that something happened to him?"

"Well... he seems fine now, doesn't he? So he must have been plotting somewhere," he retorted, as they came upon the path that separated the Cloisters and Mummers buildings.

"You're just paranoid," Penny said, growing impatient. "Paranoid and, frankly, obsessed."

Simon stared at the top of Mummers. Was Baz already in their room? "That doesn't mean he isn't planning something," he mumbled.

Penny threw up her hands. "I give up. I'm done. I'll see you at dinner, Simon."

"See you, Penny," he said, still staring at his bedroom window. He knew, somewhere in his mind, that he should have called out to her, or at least paid more attention to her-but he was only thinking of one thing right now, and it wasn't his best friend.

Actually, it was the beginnings of an idea.

He hurried to the top of Mummers like he never had before. It wasn't even a full minute later that he burst into the room, out of breath. The door banged open, earning a glare from Baz, who had been at the window, staring out.

"What the hell, Sn-"

But Simon already had his wand out. " **Bigger on the inside**!" he yelled, pointing it straight at Baz.

The spell failed, of course, but he could tell that Baz was trying not to show panic.

Oh, yeah. He _definitely_ had a secret.

" **Bigger on the inside**!" Simon tried again, and this time his magic was closer to the surface, and he could tell that it worked. In a big way. On Baz, but also on himself, a little, too. The air smelled somehow... _fried_ , like Simon had gone off.

"Snow, don't you d-"

"No," he said, quickly, in case the spell only lasted a moment. "Why didn't you come back to school at the beginning of the term?"

"...I was kidnapped by numpties," Baz spit out, unable to resist the spell, which made him reveal his secrets and insecurities.

"Very funny," Simon said, putting his wand away with a sigh. The spell must have failed after all. Baz couldn't have been _kidnapped_ by _numpties_.

Baz's face went an impressive shade of red, considering how pale he was. That reminded Simon of something else he wanted to ask-something that would prove whether or not his spell had worked.

"Are you a vampire, Baz?"

"Yes, I'm a bloody vampire!" he growled.

It wasn't as satisfying as Simon had thought it would be, hearing him forced to admit that. What now? Did he get Baz kicked out? He hadn't imagined it ending that way.

Baz was staring at him with more hatred than he'd ever seen. The only thing preventing him from murdering Simon was the Anathema, Simon was sure. Maybe he'd never leave the room again.

"Am I safe from you" he asked quickly.

"Physically, yes," Baz hissed. He took a step towards him and challenged him now, seeming to understand that the spell was working on Simon as well. "Are you so obsessed with me that you follow me sometimes?"

Even though Simon knew that Baz already knew, he didn't want to say it out loud. But the spell-it was like Simon was split in two, and someone else was using his body to answer the question completely against his will. "Yes."

Then Simon cringed. For a moment he regretted using the spell on Baz, but if this was the only way he was going to get answers...

"You've tried to harm me before," he said bluntly.

"Not recently," Baz said, turning back to the window. By this point, he knew that he wasn't going to be able to avoid confessing his secret to Simon, but he didn't have to look at him while doing it.

 _Not recently_. Simon paused in thought. Hadn't Ebb said the same thing? It had seemed like she knew something he didn't. "What, then? Are you saving up to hurt me later? Are you going to kill me someday?"

"I can't kill you."

"Like, magically, you don't have the ability?"

"...No. Like, I don't _want_ to kill you."

Simon could feel the spell starting to wear off, but he was determined to get his answers before it was gone. He strode across the room until he was only a foot away from Baz, who was glaring at him again.

"You always want to kill me," he said suspiciously, thinking again that perhaps the spell had failed.

"I don't want-It's not-" Baz growled in frustration. "That's not what I want."

"What do you want then?" Simon demanded, but he was too late. The spell had worn off; he could no longer feel it clinging to his head, making him say things he didn't want to say.

He turned to leave, not that he knew where he was going, when Baz grabbed his arm.

"I want-"

And then Baz kissed him.


End file.
